by Andy BojarskiHealing and Love May 26, 2013
You must not become offended at others based on what they say to you. If you do, your ego is in charge. Not becoming offended at others will allow you to better tame your ego. Your ego always wants to be right.
So if someone tells you something or does something that you do not agree with, your ego may feel as if it is losing an argument, or a battle. This will trigger your ego to make you feel that you are right which will cause you to defend yourself and tell the other person that they are wrong.
When you defend yourself, you feel as if there is separation, as you may feel offended if what someone else tells you that you are wrong. One of the ways that you can better control your ego is to stop feeling offended when you are talking to others.
It is alright to have a different opinion and discuss different views. But you must be able to do this in a way that does not cause you to be offended based on what is said to you. Don’t worry about how others behave and their attitudes and how they talk to you. That is on them. That is their stuff. Take the emotion out of any discussion.
If the other person seems to be attacking you, it is not worth engaging. Just stop the conversation if you can, as it will only cause pain with anger and hurt words. Revisit the conversation at a later time when maybe the other person is not so confrontational and emotions have calmed down. The louder someone seems to talk or even yell at you, the softer your voice should be.
Arguing back and forth and becoming emotional in a conversation that turns into an argument lowers your energy vibration and allows your ego to be in control. Do not be offended what others say to you or in the way that these things are said to you. Do not be hurt by the words. Just let the words roll off of you and let them go out one ear and out the other.
Take what is said and not how it is said. There is nothing wrong with agreeing to disagree and still being friends. Eliminate your need to be right. Do not let the behavior of others affect your judgment and emotions. There is no need to be offended by others and what they say. Always stay in your peace, in your heart center. Do not allow others to get to you.
Do not engage in arguments. Before you know it, people and feelings are hurt and you even forget what you were talking about. Then it becomes a battle, who won and who yelled the loudest and who said the most hurtful things. The only winner in that scenario is your ego. And all you have done is built up karma that you do not need. Destructive unproductive energy enters your energy field when you become offended based on what others say to you or what they do.
This will lead to hurt feelings, the need to be right and personal emotional attacks will follow as you will feel the need to be vindicated. Again, the ego reigns in this scenario. This is not a match and there is no winner or loser. When someone says something that is offensive or you feel that they are talking down to you, just let them talk.
Let them say what they need to say. Make them feel that they have won. If they continue to act this way, feel free to tell them that the way they are acting is offensive to you and ask them to change their tone. If they continue to get under your skin and they do not seem to be changing based on how they are talking down to you, then you may need to love them from a distance. Nobody should make you feel controlled or bad in any way.
This is not out of love. That may be their area that needs to grow and develop. However, do not lower yourself to their level by engaging to that level. Do not engage or name call or say hurtful words back to defend yourself. Do not become offended. It will not serve your highest and best good. It may not be easy to sit there and take verbal abuse from others initially.
So ask them to not judge you, to not criticize you, to not talk down to you, and ask them to respect your opinions. Tell them this in a calm, loving voice. If they choose not to listen and then continue, do not be offended. That is their character being exposed to you. You may want to limit your interaction with that person and love them from a distance until they can find a better way to communicate to you.
If someone is making you feel bad or uncomfortable, even if it is a family member, tell them how they are making you feel and ask them to change how they talk to you or how they treat you. If the change does not come, then re-evaluate your relationship with that person. You do not need others to lower your light by having them bring you down to their level.
Always remove all of your emotions from every discussion. You can have passion in what you believe in. You can stress weight on certain spoken words, and you can have conviction in what you are saying. However, please eliminate any personal jabs at others or any emotional attachments to your discussions with others. So do not become offended when others seem to get under your skin.
Stay positive and agree to disagree and maybe re address the issue another day when emotions have died down a bit. This will neutralize your ego and allow you to release even more. Stay in your center, and stay in love, always. Do not let others get you down and do not let others engage you into an argument that has no winners.
Remember that there is only love in the higher dimensions. There are no arguments and disagreements as we are all One. You are here to learn what love is and what love is not. Eliminate anything that is not love.
Your intuition and heart center will always know and nudge you in the right direction. Just do what feels right to you. Just do what gives you happiness and joy. And do not let others offend you. Treat others the way you want to be treated and always stay in love, in your heart center…
Andrew
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